*tiny jewel*

a manuscript

i know it is a scary thing
but once you take the first jump you never come back down

“You seem like a Kings of Leon kind of girl”

Everything was changing like a clock’s hands moving at their own speed, and out of anyone’s control. I thought it was interesting that the plants still grew in the flower pot full of cigarette butts and trash.

Everyone is interested in what a writer is writing…and they always wonder it’s about them.

I told him every time I heard a violin, I lost it. I would cry because they were so beautiful, and it’s the one thing I could never control. And I remembered the exact moment I was standing at work, and a guy was playing a violin right outside the window and I had to fight to keep my composure. And he stared right back at me as he played, and I felt completely helpless. And I said “hey guys, there is a guy playing a violin out here,” and someone said something and everyone started chuckling. And I looked back at the man, his eyes now closed. For in that moment, the ugliness of people, was silenced by the cry of the violin, and I knew what side of the glass I truly belonged.

That guy was always here. He wore smeared eyeliner and old mascara, a giggly manic look etched in his smile. He was always  typing rapidly on those small, cheap laptops covered in punk stickers and unheard of record labels. he reminded me of one of those club kids from the nineties. I knew he didn’t have anywhere to go, because he was always here. always disheveled. nervous. drugs robbed him of whatever he once had. he never slept. he always wore peculiar black clothing with chipped purple fingernail polish. he was trying to be a reincarnated beat kid of the wrong generation, except he didn’t who he was, or what he stood for, just like the rest of us.  it was like the New York subway emptied out his pockets, and spit out another washed up actor in this Midwest city, and he never planned on doing anything, ever again. ever. and that grim-reaper of a subway took his soul back with it,  back to New York, and that guy will wander forever, aimless.